Live Life

Passionately Ever After

“I just found out that my spouse is having an affair!  Help! What do I do?”  Sexual affairs happen every day; hopefully these words will never be spoken by you.  If they are, here are ten ideas to help you cope with the immediate shock and anger.    

• Do not panic!  Breathe, slow deep breaths. 90% of affairs never last.  The odds are in your favor if you want to make the relationship work.

 

• Contact a close friend and confidante and talk about your feelings.

 

• Do not confront your spouse until you are focused and in control.  If you need to, spend a night or two with family or a good friend.

 

• Remember the affair is about the cheater, not about you.  You both played a part in the problems, but it was his/her choice to betray the marriage.

 

• Journal your thoughts and feelings.  Let the words flow. Do not be concerned about spelling, grammar or profanity.  It is for your eyes only!

 

• Contact a good family attorney to answer your many questions and understand many of your options.  (You do not have to commit to divorce.)

 

• Arrange a time to talk one on one with your spouse in private when you are not exhausted.

 

• Look for remorse and a willingness to work on the marriage.  If he/she refuses to let go of the fling, you have some tough decisions to make.  (They do not have to be made now.)

 

• Develop new boundaries as you work on the relationship.  If your body says “no” to sleeping in the same bed, listen to it.

 

• Find a qualified and experienced counselor to help you mend the wounds and move forward together.  Should he/she refuse to go, you go.  It will help.

 

Infidelity is a major earthquake to a relationship.  It does not have to end up in divorce.  It can be repaired.  In time, the relationship can be even better than before.  You can live passionately ever after! 

For assistance in working passionately ever after, call…

Passionately Ever After Counseling Center.

At

214.618.8202